what you say I am

The other day Cristi Hillis said to me, I noticed that your eye twitches a lot, and I was wondering if you knew that it did and why does it do it. I told her that I knew that it had been doing it' and that my eyes often felt irritated. I think it's from all of the pollen in the air. So, ever since she said that to me, I have been looking at my eye a lot more, and noticing the way it feels a lot. It seems like I am constantly wondering if my eye is twitching, especially when people are looking at me. Thanks to little miss Hillis I am no longer James the dad, or the husband, or Pastor James, or James the big guy, or even James that handsome dashing man, I am now James the eye twitch guy. It's really amazing how we are affected by how others see us, and how we think they are seeing us. It makes me think of all of those crazy people that try out for American Idol. They are there because others have told them what great singers they are. Then they try out and someone else tells them they stink, and they just can not believe what they just herd. It goes against everything they have been told and believed for their entire life. Just once I would love to see one of the parents that has made the long trip with their child to audition, to lean over, put their arm around their hysterical kid, and whisper in their ear, "no honey, they are right, you are a terrible singer. I lied to you all these years about how good a singer you are. It was a lot easier and more enjoyable for me to tell you that, and make you happy, so now you are going through all of this pain and public humiliation because I wanted to be happy."

I am so glad that God's goal is not to make me happy, it's to make me more like him. I have to go now, because I have to put some drops in my eyes.